


Can't Help Falling

by Ponddipper



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Canon-typical language, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Injured Harry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 01:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20282950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ponddipper/pseuds/Ponddipper
Summary: 'If ye had nae been staring at the lad's arse, Ye would nae have slipped.' Said Merlin, taping down the bandage on Harry's ankle.





	Can't Help Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I've been struggling to write anything decent for a while, but I desperately want to. So this is what I've come up with.  
I'd really appreciate some feedback and constructive criticism. I'm not that sure about the ending to be honest but having worked on it for the best part of a month maybe i'm just too close to notice?
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.  
PDx

** _Can’t Help falling_ **

‘Ye know, if ye had nae been staring at the lads arse, ye would nae have slipped.’ Said Merlin, taping down the bandage on Harry’s foot. 

Harry crossed his arms with a huff, pressing back into the pillows of the bed at Kingsman Medical and glared at the ceiling. Merlin was _enjoying _this, the smug git. 

‘It’s nae use denying it.’ The Scot said, looming over him with a grin. ‘I watched the camera footage from the obstacle course. Ye were _ogling_ him, Harry. Practically _drooling_!’

Harry snorted but otherwise refused to respond. A gentleman did not _ogle_. And Harry was always a gentleman. Or at least he tried to be.

While it was true that Harry had been watching Eggsy as they ran the new obstacle course together, it was more that he was trying to follow the boy’s line through the unfamiliar obstacles, than any attempt to feast his eye. Harry’s fall had been a missed step, a split second of inattention that is all.

‘I cannae say I blame ye though.’ Merlin sighed, leaning back against the wall. ‘He is quite... _spectacular_ to watch, especially during physical training.’

Harry felt his cheeks grow warm, recalling how Eggsy had leapt from beam to beam, his every movement so precise, so controlled. It was indeed spectacular to watch, and it didn’t hurt that the young man looked so distracting in his Lycra leggings and tight vest top. 

Not that Harry would admit as much to Merlin. He was old enough to be the boy’s father, but he wasn’t dead. Not yet.

Thankfully, despite falling nearly twelve feet, Harry hadn’t sustained any serious injury. A sprained ankle, rolled as he lost his footing on the high beam, several scrapes to his hands from the bark cushioned landing and rather a lot of bruising were his only souvenirs. 

Plus a rather large dent to his ego after being strapped to a spinal board, with cervical collar and hauled inside the mansion like a piece of fine china by a full emergency medical team. It was all highly embarrassing.

‘Why ye won’t admit you have feelings for the boy, hmm?’ Merlin said, retrieving a pair of crutches from the cupboard. ‘Every time ye see him ye go all doe-eyed and ye tongue hangs out.’

Harry tried not to grind his teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose, and rubbing gently at his empty eye socket with his thumb. 

‘Merlin, please.’

He could feel a headache forming.

‘Okay! Okay! I get it.’ Merlin laughed, holding up his hands in surrender. ‘I was only going to suggest you ask him out quick before someone else gets in there. I caught one of the garage gang giving him the eye the other day.’

‘Enough!’ Harry snapped. 

He just wanted to go home and sleep and instead he was being forced to listen to one of Merlin’s lectures on how he was deeply in love with his protégé, if he would only admit it!

Merlin was a good and trusted friend but the chronically single workaholic gleaned all his romantic education from insipid rom-coms and the published works of Mills and Boon!

‘Come on Harry.’ Merlin said, leaning back against an inactive ECG machine, arms folded. ‘Ye’re practically dating him already! Meals out to fine restaurants, trips to museums or the cinema. Christ ye even built him a Parkour course at HQ just because he asked. If that’s not love I don’t know what is.’

Harry took several deep loud breaths, digging his fingernails into his palms by way of distraction. 

‘Merlin. I have repeatedly told you that the addition of a Parkour course is an important training aid for our agents, to ensure they are competent and comfortable during roof top pursuits. It will cut down on accidents and injuries if they have practiced here without the usual pressure of a mission. That Eggsy suggested the need and designed the course is irrelevant.’

Harry was well aware of the irony of what he had just said. But he wasn’t allowed out in the field alone anymore so the chances of him needing to pursue a target over rooftops were slim indeed.

‘And as for the additional time I spend with my former candidate,’ He said looking the Scot straight in the eye. ‘I am merely attempting to help him develop his skills and knowledge base for future missions. It’s no use being sent on a reconnaissance trip to the Ivy and trying to order Egg and Chips!’

Harry knew it was a massive insult to suggest Eggsy would do such a thing, but he needed to make Merlin understand that there was nothing going on between them. And never would be.

Merlin regarded Harry for several moments, enough to begin to make him uncomfortable. For the oddest reason he thought of his butterflies trapped under glass at home. When the Scotsman spoke, his voice was calm, quiet, serious.

‘Just look me in the eye and tell me ye dinnae love him, Harry. _Then_ I’ll believe ye.’

Harry focussed on the bridge of his nose.

‘I am old enough to be his father Merlin.’ 

Merlin raised a single eyebrow in reply.

Harry leaned back against the starch scented pillow once more, a familiar hollow ache in his chest. It had taken him a long time to finally admit to himself that he had feelings for the boy. But that was the problem. Eggsy was a young man, still in his prime whilst Harry was over the hill and nearing far away. Age gaps such as theirs never worked out. Sooner or later Eggsy would begin to feel trapped, would start looking for the excitement he had lost and Harry would be forced to share him or lose him forever. And Harry could never share. No, it would be better to have never loved, than to lose it all.

‘Besides,’ Harry sighed, scrutinising his roughed up fingernails. ‘He isn’t even gay.’

‘Bi actually, Bruv.’

Harry’s head snapped up towards the door, the sharp movement pulling on his bruised muscles.

Eggsy stood in the open doorway, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his perfectly fitting jeans. His shoulders were hunched forward, hair slightly damp and just curling on the ends as the young man looked up from under his long blonde lashes.

Harry felt his stomach swoop at the beautiful sight.

A faint blush coloured Eggsy’s cheeks reminding Harry of candy floss. _Did the boy taste just as sweet, _he wondered, as he let his eyes wander over the dark blue polo that fit so snugly to the young man’s torso.

‘Didn’ mean to earwig, Bruv. Honest. Just wanted to make sure you was okay. Was a pretty nasty fall you took.’ Eggsy shrugged, looking away with a sigh. 

‘I’m fine my boy.’ Harry replied, waving away his concern with a hand. ‘Just a few bumps and bruises. I’ll be back on the obstacles in no time.’

‘No fucking way Harry!’ Eggsy stormed forward, hands waving about in front of him. ‘You ain’t getting back on there. Tell ‘im Merls.’

‘Oh? And how do you propose to stop me?’ Harry raised an eyebrow, intrigued as to what the young man would say next. 

‘Fuck. I’ll tie you up if I have to, lock you in your office and throw away the key. Shit, I’d even sit on you to make sure you didn’t try nothing stupid. I almost lost ya once, Haz and I only just got ya back!’ Eggsy’s chest heaved, his blush darkening as he breathed deeply. 

Well_ that _was unexpected!

Shuffling to sit up a little straighter, Harry was glad of the roomy nature of the sweatpants he currently wore. Harry’s mind began to conjure up images of Eggsy, a cord of silk rope and too few clothes to be decent and he felt a blush spread across his own cheeks.

He needed to put a stop to this before things got out of hand.

‘Eggsy. I apologise, if I’ve upset you.’ Harry forced himself to look at the young man, hoping he didn’t look as off-kilter as he felt. ‘That was not my intention.’

‘No!’ Eggsy stepped up to the bed, one hand resting on the bed rail. ‘I gotta be the one ta apologize yeah? For earlier. Cos I was just… bein’ a coward.’ Eggsy sighed, running one hand through his hair, tugging at the strands, eyes cast down to the bed. ‘I been wanting to ask ya out for ages, since the Police Station really but I was too scared in case ya jus’ brushed me off. I mean, you is posh, a proper gent and me?’ Eggsy shrugged again. ‘I’m just a chav from the estates that got lucky ain’t I?’

‘Eggsy, please.’ Harry put his hand over that of the young man. He hated the way the boy always put himself down, how he never felt good enough to be where he was. It made Harry angry at himself for letting him down as a child, for not checking up on him, allowing others to convince him of their lies.

But Harry wasn’t what he needed. He needed to be free, to enjoy the company of those his own age, not be stuck with a fussy old man like Harry.

‘I thought maybe if I played it up a bit you might react, ask me out instead.’ Eggsy said, picking at an invisible chip on the bed rail, still not looking at Harry. ‘I know ya like me, like to watch my missions and that. An’ I love spending time with ya. But I was scared. I didn’t wanna cock things up between us. You mean a lot to me Bruv an’ I don’ wanna lose ya. But then ya fell and I felt like a piece of fucking shit cos it were all my fault cos I was showing off.’

There were tears forming in his eyes and Harry’s chest started to burn, his hands itching to reach out and pull the boy close.

‘I never meant ya ta get hurt Haz, I swear.’ Eggsy sniffled, face getting red once more. ‘But seeing ya laying there, not moving… Shit I thought I was gonna have a heart attack!’ He wiped his nose with the back of his hand. 

Eggsy looked up at him then, eyes wide and wet, but full of determination.

‘Made me realise that every day I don’t _do_ something about how I feel, well it’s a day I waste innit? Cos I don’t know if tomorrow there’s gonna be another Valentine or some nutter like Poppy what wants to take over the world.’ He took a deep breath, turning his hand over and grasping Harrys hand in both his own.

‘I love you Harry and I don’t wanna waste no more time trying to pretend I don’t. None of us knows what’s up ahead so we’s gotta take what we can and hold on with both hands.’

Harry felt sick, his heart beating so hard he thought his ears might pop. The boy was young, still learning about life and love. He didn’t know what he wanted deep down. Not really.

‘No. No, I am too old, too stubborn and far too selfish to be anything more than your friend.’ Harry pulled his hand away, biting hard at the inside of his cheek, the pain a welcome distraction from this torture.

‘You see old, I see experienced.’ Eggsy said, his jaw tensing, hands gripping the bed rail until the knuckles went white. ‘You see stubborn, I see determined. The kinda bloke who won’t give up just cos life got hard. And selfish?’ Eggsy scoffed. ‘Bruv, you is one of the least selfish people I know.’

‘Oh Eggsy.’ Harry could feel a headache forming right behind his eye. The one that wasn’t actually _there._

Harry put his head in his hands. He had to find a way to do this without breaking the boy’s heart. Eggsy deserved the world on a silver platter, to be free to enjoy his life, to have the family he always wanted, to be the man he was supposed to be. He didn’t need to be looking after an old man, clipping his own wings so Harry wouldn’t be lonely at night. Sooner or later he would realise his mistake and they would drift apart, edging away until they became strangers once more.

It happened with his parents and their age gap was only ten years. What’s to stop it happening to them?

_ Because you love him, _said a voice in his head that sounded oddly like Merlin. _Because you are not your mother chasing every man with a pulse. And you are not your father, too focussed on the prize of financial gain to notice his family falling apart. And neither is the boy._

Then Eggsy’s words from earlier replayed in his mind.

_ 'None of us knows what’s up ahead. We gotta take what we can and hold on.’ _

When Valentine had the gun to Harry’s head, all he could think of was how he would never get to see Eggsy again, how he would never get to tell the boy how proud he was of his achievements, how he was going to move heaven and earth to get him a place at Kingsman, despite the Dog Test. If not as an agent, somewhere within its walls.

The boy was right. If he lost Eggsy tomorrow, what would he regret more? That he tried and failed, or that he didn’t try at all?

_Man up Hart! _The Merlin voice said. _Just grow a pair!_

‘I love you.’ Harry said, picking at the hem of his Kingsman sweatshirt. ‘Probably more than is good for either of us really.’ 

He looked up, half-smiling at the young man’s shocked expression. ‘In fact, I think I’ve loved you since the day you came into my hospital room trailing an adolescent Pug and snatched Merlin’s clipboard right out of his hands.’

Eggsy beamed and Harry felt his stomach swoop once more.

‘So, if I asked you out,’ Eggsy said, biting at his bottom lip, making it red and plump. ‘Would you say yes?’ 

Harry felt his lips stretch wide as he nodded.

‘Yes. Yes I would.’

A polite if awkward cough made both men jump.

‘As touching as this all is,’ Said Merlin, a note of humour in his voice. May I remind you Harry that you have a badly sprained ankle and that you need to rest? I’m signing you off sick for two weeks to be on the safe side.’

Harry’s heart sank, but Eggsy laughed, big beaming grin on his face as he deftly dropped the bed rail and perched lightly on the edge of the mattress.

‘Okay.’ He said, looking over his shoulder, a twinkle in his eye. ‘I got some post mission leave due, so how about I give you a lift home, order in some takeaway and take _real_ good care of ya instead?’ Without taking his eyes off Harry he addressed Merlin. ‘I promise he won’t leave the bed for at least a week.’

Merlin just sighed.

‘_Yes, _Eggsy.’ Harry laughed, shuffling forward letting Eggsy pull him into a piggy back lift, and gently kissing the young mans nape.

Suddenly he didn’t feel so old after all.

THE END


End file.
